I started this blog a couple months ago now. I wanted to start blogging before I left because I knew that I might not set the time aside to set up my blog during the transition; but I knew that I could commit to  finding  the time to write about my transition. Little did I realize though just how busy my life was to become before I left, so now I have found myself starting to write numerous blog posts that have yet to be completed. I have not deleted a single draft though because my unfinished posts are my thoughts … to be continued. 

A week ago today as I realized that I had only a month left in the United States for quite some time. And with that, I found that I had stepped on a roller coaster – a roller coaster of emotions and to do lists. I know I have already written about the excitement and nervous feelings that I have been and am experiencing. Along with all this though comes the emotions of my friends and family, both here and abroad. I tend to like to invite change because it usually brings with it the start to something new-  an adventure, lifestyle, diet, location, language, people etc. Change though can feel overwhelming sometimes. I have been trying to balance my own emotions, commitments, finances, time, sleep.. you name it and I am trying to keep it all in order.  and then there is the emotions of others that have affected me in ways that I was not expecting; so on top of it all I am trying to balance the emotions of others with my own. It is a lot to say the least. Now, I am not saying that I feel responsible for the happiness of others or for the well being of their emotions. But, you must know the feeling, when someone you love and care for deeply is feeling emotional because of you. My family and friends are understandably feeling an array of emotions. Being the empathetic person that I am, I feel them as well.

So, with only three weeks now until I leave, I have been stepping away from my laptop and iPhone as much as I can. As much as I love the internet and technology, it is just isn’t the same as in person interaction. For the next three weeks I am completing my last two and a half weeks at my summer intern position, working as a Developmental Service Worker for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts’s Department of Developmental Services as well as attending meetings and presenting at a conference. I am also visiting family, friends and children who I have cared for for years. To end my time in America for 2013 I am returning to the little piece of heaven on earth that I posted about in June with my best friend.

The job, my family, church family, friends, and friends and family across the world all mean a ton to me. I am blessed to be living my life filled with so many incredible people, connections, experiences, etc. I must admit though that I have found my thoughts and emotions to feel somewhat like a roller coaster. Like when I exit, the “Mind Eraser” at Six Flags, my thoughts have felt to be a bit all over the place at times. I have post it notes all over my room so I remember calls to make, things to pack, meetings to schedule. While it is a lot of fun, it is also a lot to take on. 

I want to thank everyone, reading this or not, for your love and support during this time of change for me as I ventured into a new work environment and now as I begin my venture into a new country to study, live, learn and create memories. I am so grateful as your support makes the roller coaster a bit less bumpy, and manageable. 

My Jumbled Thoughts


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